Monday, January 10, 2011

THiS Glorious Sadness

No pictures here. Last night (1/9/11) I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...and for some reason I knew I had to do it alone. I've always known that. Last night after many years of sadness and indecision, I went to the east side of town where my family lived when we first moved to Florida...there, after about 8-10 years I spread my Mom's ashes. I took some of them to our home and left them on the grass and then I took the rest and washed them away in the beautiful lake at the end of the street. I feel peace and I feel sadness. My Mom and I had a very bittersweet relationship, but your Mother is your Mother. This decision confirmed that there is only Craig and me and that is a feeling you will never know until you get there.

Later on, or maybe tomorrow I want to make a list of good things I remember about my Mom, and I would like for Craig to do this too. He is not as public as I am, so maybe he won't. But I am going to ask him.
Through thick and thin, one thing remains, my Mother loved her children.


Donna said...

This is my first time visiting this blog and I love the pictures of your girls. Such beautiful faces and I'm sure, beautiful inside as well.

GES said...

Lesa: Thanks for sharing this poignant and important moment in your life. We share your grief and your joy in saying goodbye to your mother. May God bless you and your family richly.